Entries from May 2006 ↓

My legal name is Alexander Perchov. But all of my many friends dub me Alex, because that is a more flaccid-to-utter version of my legal name. Mother dubs me Alexi-stop-spleening-me!, because I am always spleening her. If you want to know why I am always spleening her, it is because I am always elsewhere with friends, and disseminating so much currency, and performing so many things that can spleen a mother. Father used to dub me Shapka, for the fur hat I would don even in the summer month. He ceased dubbing me that because I ordered him to cease dubbing me that. It sounded boyish to me, and I have always thought of myself as very potent and generative. I have many many girls, believe me, and they all have a different name for me. One dubs me Baby, not because I am a baby, but because she attends to me. Another dubs me All Night. Do you want to know why? I have a girl who dubs me Currency, because I disseminate so much currency around her. She licks my chops for it. I have a miniature brother who dubs me Alli. I do not dig this name very much, but I dig him very much, so OK, I permit him to dub me Alli. As for his name, it is Little Igor, but father dubs him Clumsy One, because he is always promenading into things. It was only four days previous that he made his eye blue from a mismanagement with a brick wall. If you’re wondering what my bitch’s name is, it is Sammy Davis, Junior, Junior. She has this name because Sammy Davis, Junior was Grandfather’s beloved singer, and the bitch is his, not mine, because I am not the one who thinks he is blind.

As for me, I was sired in 1977, the same year as the hero of this story. In truth, my life has been very ordinary. As I mentioned before, I do many good things with myself and others, but they are ordinary things. I dig American movies. I dig Negroes, particularly Michael Jackson. I dig to disseminate very much currency at famous nightclubs in Odessa. Lamborghini Countaches are excellent, and so are cappuccinos. Many girls want to be carnal with me in many good arrangements, notwithstanding the Inebriated Kangaroo, the Gorky Tickle, and the Unyielding Zookeeper. If you want to know why so many girls want to be with me, it is because I am a very premium person to be with. I am homely, and also severely funny, and these are winning things. But nonetheless, I know many people who dig rapid cars and famous discotheques. There are so many who perform the Sputnik Bosom Dalliance—which is always terminated with a slimy underface—that I cannot tally them on all of my hands. There are even many people named Alex. (Three in my house alone!) That is why I was so effervescent to go to Lutsk and translate for Jonathan Safran Foer. It would be unordinary.

Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer

I have been feeling judgmental lately, which makes me feel bad because I am being the holier-than-thou sort of judgmental. I am thinking things like “I would never do that” but, really, would I if I had the opportunity? And maybe I already have and decided it wasn’t for me or got over whatever behavior it was or something. I want to remember what I was like in the past. I want to remember the dumb/annoying/lame things I’ve done.

I know I was an idiot much of the time. I wonder if I’m still an idiot sometimes… Not as much, I hope, if at all. I think I’ve changed, though I’m definitely still growing up.

At least I’m not all “in my head” and instead I’m entirely out of my head and thinking about other people. But this isn’t a good way to think of other people. Mostly I just need new activities in my life. This summer I’m taking a yoga class and I’m looking forward to that. In the fall I’m considering a professional writing course.

Lately I am feeling complacent and I’m not sure how to shake that feeling.

First off, I have a picture of the daisy that bloomed just after Karyn and Bryan’s first anniversary. I planted it after the wedding last year, and it took one year to get pretty. It’s still an odd plant, though.

This weekend I kept busy. On Saturday night, I invited Karyn, Bryan and Barry over for a little dinner party. I prepared a Caprese Salad, Chicken Cacciatore, and Italian Love Cake for dessert.

Then we all rocked out with Karaoke Revolution for a while. Bryan’s character was dressed in a huge cat suit and that was pretty funny. Barry dressed his character in a renaissance garb, but it was the little twisty mustache that creeped me out.

Sunday morning began the festival of graduation for many of my friends. First was brunch with Jen and her family at Vic’s on St. Anthony Main. Delish!

After that Kristi and I went to IKEA for good times. We had forgotten about the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, but luckily it was over and traffic wasn’t too messy.

We spent the rest of the afternoon staring at the TV while I did laundry at my old apartment for probably the last time.

Early evening, we headed to Jon’s graduation party at his house.

For a finale, we headed to Orion’s party at his sister’s house in the ‘burbs.

I sort of wish I had taken up Jen’s offer to use one of her reserved seats at the actual graduation ceremony in the afternoon, but how was I to know that Jen, Jon and Orion would all be walking across the stage during the same ceremony? UMN is too small sometimes.

Yesterday was a long day as I spent much time with other peoples’ families. Left my house around 11am and didn’t return until 10pm. I am tired today, I need more tea and I have a meeting in a half hour so I should get something accomplished, I guess.

Orion just called to invite me to his graduation party. But his first order of business: “Did you move?” I should call my friends more.

Last night the Bell Museum had an exhibit opening (“BLOOM! BOTANICAL ART THROUGH THE AGES” through August 27), which I didn’t make it to because the weather was crappy and I fell asleep on my couch anyway. This morning, though, there are gorgeous botanical specimens left over!

I ran into curator Don Luce before attempting to take a photo and I’m sure he pretty much thought I was a little nuts. When he asked me why I wanted a photo, I replied that I just thought they were pretty. He laughed at me. That’s okay.

I’m surprised how lovely this picture actually turned out — it looks like crap on my RAZR and I was cursing myself for not bringing my digital camera that has a macro setting. I’m satisfied, though. Yay, pretties!