Did you hear something?
It sounded like it came from the living room.
I don’t know if it was one of the cats.
Hold on, let me feel around.
One. Two. Three.
Shit. It wasn’t one of the cats.
We should go see if someone’s broken into the house.
By “we” I mean “you.”
Me? But I’m so small and
Useless.
Okay, how about we rock/paper/scissors for it?
Okay, ready?
Are we going one-two-three throw
or one-two-throw on three?
Ow. Don’t poke me, I can’t see anything and we’ve only got ten seconds before the killer comes in here, flips on the light and shoots us both.
One-two-three-rock.
I had rock!
You did not have paper.
Fine, let me feel it.
That is not your hand.
Well, whatever it is, it’s not doing a very good job of being paper.
Aw, hell.
This is a fun way to die.

Pamie posted some awfully funny Valentine’s Day poems. I recommend that you enjoy them right now.

My funny Valentine, Kristi, gave me an early gift. Last night, she squished a big spider that was in my bedroom. If that ain’t roommate love…